Being honest with myself

When I first joined weightwatchers, after a few months I became a little obsessed with the numbers on the scales. I wrote this post but despite what I said (which is all true), I continued to become obsessed with the number. Weighing myself far too often. It got to the point where I was worried I was showing signs of an eating disorder. So I stopped. I didn't weigh myself. I focused on non-scale victories and when weighed in meetings didn't think too much about the numbers, just kept trucking.

I stopped my meetings about a year ago due to university commitments (my masters was a lot of work). I still didn't step on scales. I just kept with my process of do I feel happy and healthy, yes I do. Clothes still fit. Happy Sazz.

But recently I haven't been too happy. Just very stressed out with a number of things in my life and I've been comfort eating. Alas. I knew what I was doing and yet I did it anyway.I have seriously totally no idea why on earth I did it, but I have done some serious damage and am substantially above my goal weight.

I mentioned earlier in the week that weightwatchers is in Northern Ireland 25 years and in celebration they are doing an offer where you can rejoin for only 25p! I'm doing this, only for one week though, and that's to make sure my wee weightwatchers file is up to date (there's been two new books on easy start and a book on simply filling released since I last made it to a class). I'm going to be doing the program online, simply because it's cheaper and I really need to keep a watch on my spending (something exciting coming up, hopefully will be letting you in on it in the next 2 weeks!).

Standing on the scales today was probably a good thing. It's really woke me up to my actual weight and not just what I feel I am judging from my clothes. I won't let the numbers be an obsession again, but as my guide as to what I need to be doing. I was reading an article on the weightwatchers website today and it gave the following quote:

"no matter what the number is on the scale, there's always something to learn from it. It's an important moment of truth, but it is just feedback." article link.

It's so true, and something I need to remember. Because the number is important once you let yourself stray so much. And it's time for me to like myself again.

Next post will be about my food for the week (currently waiting on my Tesco order being delivered).
Also trying to work out how to make my weightwatchers article from the UK magazine from pdf to something easily read here.
A picture post of my wee holiday from last week.
Exercise post, what I've done, what I want to do
Tuesday is my weigh in day. Think I'll go back to posting how I've done on every Tuesday and what I want to work on for the next week.

Heck, I'm editing this to add in more truths. I actually cried when I seen the number on the scales today. I can not believe I let myself get to this point. I want to have this recorded because I feel like total crap. And I don't want to anymore, I left feeling crappy back in 2005.